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carmillaSUMMARY: Rumours are flying. Set around Season Five, but disregards all canon past Season Four (except for the bits I like).
“Hey, do you guys remember Buffy Summers?”
His two flatmates were used to Andrew starting conversations apropos of nothing, and Warren merely grunted, his eyes glued to his computer screen and his fingers moving busily on the keyboard. Andrew had a hard time keeping his eyes off those fingers, but he tried his best. And Jonathan actually seemed interested.
“Sure I remember Buffy. She only saved my life, after all.”
Warren rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, you and half of Sunnydale. We were all there at Graduation, you know.”
The room grew silent for a minute. In Andrew’s personal version of history (and, he suspected, in a lot of other people’s) that particular episode had been quite neatly blanked out. It happened, and some of them went to hospital, and a lot of them went to the funerals… and after that, nobody wanted to talk about it again.
“Anyway,” he said, trying to break the mood that had fallen, “you’ll never guess. You remember Mr. Giles, the librarian? She’s dating him.”
Jonathan’s mouth fell open. “No way!”
Andrew nodded, relishing being the bearer and imparter of knowledge for once. “Way. I saw her on my way back here, going into his apartment. He was holding the door open for her and they looked real cosy.”
“But – mightn’t that just be because -” But Jonathan couldn’t think of another good reason why Buffy Summers would be meeting their ex-librarian socially, especially not at his house.
“For God’s sake, you guys.” Warren swung round on his swivel chair. “This is like, ancient history. It was going on at school.” Jonathan looked like he was trying to think up another denial, but Warren just smirked about him. “Some girl caught them kissing in the library once. Everyone knew about it.” He rolled his eyes. “Apart from you two, apparently. Find something else to be shocked over.” And with that, he swung his chair back round, and started to type again.
Andrew stared at his indifferent back, crestfallen. Jonathan, noting the stare (not for the first time) gave him a comforting smile.
“That’s us, I guess,” he offered. “Always the last to know.”
*
When Cordelia had first circulated the rumour that she’s caught Buffy making out with the new librarian, it had been purely out of spite. But she couldn’t help feeling an artist’s pride in her work as her invention spread all over the school, growing as it did. Of course! That was why she spent so much time in the library (well it certainly wasn’t to study, was it?) – apparently she even stayed behind after school most nights. Yes, she did – a couple of people had seen her leaving late, and she looked a mess, flushed and sweaty – guess she’d been having a good ‘work out’, ha ha. Someone said that she kept a change of clothes in the book cage; someone else had heard that Mr. Giles had threatened to kick Principal Snider’s ass if he didn’t let Buffy come back to school. And hey, they sure got in each other’s personal space a lot.
To her great irritation, the rumour didn’t destroy Buffy’s reputation, but rather enhanced her growing status as an exotically eccentric outsider. After a while she got bored of hearing about this ‘illicit romance’, and rather wished she could damp the gossip down, but it had taken on a life of its own. And by the time they’d reached their final year and it was still going strong, she was beginning to wonder if there wasn’t something to it after all. The way they were around each other, especially over those last couple of weeks while they were preparing for the Ascension… She was careful not to mention anything about it to Angel, although she wasn’t sure whether it was for fear she was wrong, or for fear she was right.
Harmony had no such qualms, having always regarded everything Cordelia said as gospel.
“… and I don’t see why you’re so obsessed with her. Are you in love with her or something? Because you’re so not her type. She was totally having an affair with the librarian, like, all through high school. Everyone knew about it. Talk about skanky.”
Spike, reclining on a stone bench, was idly considering throttling her. More because the sound of her voice was irritating than because he knew what she was saying was nonsense, although that certainly didn’t help. After all, he knew far more than he wanted to about her bloody doomed romance with his nancy-boy sire, not to mention her current fling with the ex-soldier kid, he of the brains in his biceps. There was even that time, with the spell, when he and she… but he really didn’t want to think about that (not that it hadn’t been enjoyable, some treacherous part of his brain reminded him). And back then, Giles had… well, OK, he hadn’t been best pleased, but it wasn’t as if he’d come after him with a flaming baseball bat or anything. And sure, when he’d needed to push Giles’ buttons, it was the Buffy issue he’d gone after, but that was just because – well, Buffy did that to people, didn’t she? Made them feel like… hang on, why was he thinking about this anyway? Her little friends could worry about that. He had better things to do; most of them involving more creative ways to shut Harmony up than simple strangulation.
*
“So, what do you think the deal is with Buffy and Giles?”
“What?” Xander shouted, straining to hear anything over the heavy background music of the Bronze. Willow raised her voice.
“Buffy. Giles. What’s – the – deal?”
“Oh, that. Maybe they’ve just decided they’re secretly in love and want to settle down together and make babies.” Seeing the look of horror dawning on his friend’s face, he grinned. “Joking, Wills, you can relax. They’re just spending more time together, that’s all.”
“But… the whole of last year, she was…” Willow tailed off, unable to think of a word to suit that wouldn’t be, well, bitchy.
Xander nodded. “Yeah, I know. But then there was the thing with Spike, and the gestalt entity, and then that whole weirdness with the First Slayer. Is it really surprising they’d decide to get together more often? We did.”
“I guess.” She paused for a minute. “You know, thinking about it… would it really be that surprising if they did, you know, get together get together? I mean, I know you didn’t mean it, but they have been hanging out a lot lately, and she’s just broken up with Riley, and well, the way he looks at her sometimes, I mean you have to wonder -”
“No you do not! You absolutely, categorically do not.” It was now Xander’s turn to look horrified. “C’mon, Will, I mean, this is Giles we’re talking about. He’s like my father. As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t even have sex.” Willow smirked as he continued. “I mean, geez, it was bad enough thinking about you having a crush on him, and that was in the past tense…”
“Alright, alright, I get it. No more talk about Buffy and Giles.” She looked around. “Where is Buffy, anyway? She was supposed to be here by now.”
“Maybe she ran into something nasty on patrol?”
“I’ll give Giles a call, see if he knows anything.” She fished through her bag for her mobile, and dialled the number. “Hey, Giles? – It’s Willow. – Yeah. Listen, me and Xander are at the Bronze, and Buffy was supposed to join us, but she hasn’t showed, so we were wondering – Oh? - Oh, right. That’s fine, then. See you later. – Yeah, bye.” She turned back to Xander as she hung up. “She did run into something nasty, but she kicked its ass. She’s resting up at Giles’ place for a bit, but she’ll be here soon.” She waited for him to take another mouthful of his drink before adding, “Totally making babies,” and giggling as he sprayed soda out of his nose.
*
“Hello, who’s speaking please? – Oh, hello Willow, are you alright? – Ah, yes, she’s here, as a matter of fact. – Yes, she ran into some kind of minor demon. Don’t worry, she dispatched it with her customary, ah, dispatch, but she was quite tired, so she’s resting here for a little while before she joins you two. – Yes, goodbye Willow.”
Giles replaced the phone in its cradle, and made his way back to the bedroom. Buffy sat up in bed, running a hand through her mussed hair.
“Who was that?”
As she beckoned him, he joined her, shedding his robe again. “It was Willow, wanting to know where you were.”
“What did you tell her?” She was trying to keep her anxiety from showing in her voice, but didn’t quite succeed. He smiled.
“I told her you’d had a run-in with a minor demon, and were resting here for a little while before you joined them.”
“Thanks.” She smiled back at him. “I mean, I guess they’ll pick up on something soon enough, but I really don’t wanna have that conversation until I’ve figured out what to say.”
He nodded, trailing his hand down her bare back. “Understandable.”
With a sigh, she flopped back in bed, wrapping an arm around his waist.
“God, Giles… how are we ever going to tell them?"
“Hey, do you guys remember Buffy Summers?”
His two flatmates were used to Andrew starting conversations apropos of nothing, and Warren merely grunted, his eyes glued to his computer screen and his fingers moving busily on the keyboard. Andrew had a hard time keeping his eyes off those fingers, but he tried his best. And Jonathan actually seemed interested.
“Sure I remember Buffy. She only saved my life, after all.”
Warren rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, you and half of Sunnydale. We were all there at Graduation, you know.”
The room grew silent for a minute. In Andrew’s personal version of history (and, he suspected, in a lot of other people’s) that particular episode had been quite neatly blanked out. It happened, and some of them went to hospital, and a lot of them went to the funerals… and after that, nobody wanted to talk about it again.
“Anyway,” he said, trying to break the mood that had fallen, “you’ll never guess. You remember Mr. Giles, the librarian? She’s dating him.”
Jonathan’s mouth fell open. “No way!”
Andrew nodded, relishing being the bearer and imparter of knowledge for once. “Way. I saw her on my way back here, going into his apartment. He was holding the door open for her and they looked real cosy.”
“But – mightn’t that just be because -” But Jonathan couldn’t think of another good reason why Buffy Summers would be meeting their ex-librarian socially, especially not at his house.
“For God’s sake, you guys.” Warren swung round on his swivel chair. “This is like, ancient history. It was going on at school.” Jonathan looked like he was trying to think up another denial, but Warren just smirked about him. “Some girl caught them kissing in the library once. Everyone knew about it.” He rolled his eyes. “Apart from you two, apparently. Find something else to be shocked over.” And with that, he swung his chair back round, and started to type again.
Andrew stared at his indifferent back, crestfallen. Jonathan, noting the stare (not for the first time) gave him a comforting smile.
“That’s us, I guess,” he offered. “Always the last to know.”
*
When Cordelia had first circulated the rumour that she’s caught Buffy making out with the new librarian, it had been purely out of spite. But she couldn’t help feeling an artist’s pride in her work as her invention spread all over the school, growing as it did. Of course! That was why she spent so much time in the library (well it certainly wasn’t to study, was it?) – apparently she even stayed behind after school most nights. Yes, she did – a couple of people had seen her leaving late, and she looked a mess, flushed and sweaty – guess she’d been having a good ‘work out’, ha ha. Someone said that she kept a change of clothes in the book cage; someone else had heard that Mr. Giles had threatened to kick Principal Snider’s ass if he didn’t let Buffy come back to school. And hey, they sure got in each other’s personal space a lot.
To her great irritation, the rumour didn’t destroy Buffy’s reputation, but rather enhanced her growing status as an exotically eccentric outsider. After a while she got bored of hearing about this ‘illicit romance’, and rather wished she could damp the gossip down, but it had taken on a life of its own. And by the time they’d reached their final year and it was still going strong, she was beginning to wonder if there wasn’t something to it after all. The way they were around each other, especially over those last couple of weeks while they were preparing for the Ascension… She was careful not to mention anything about it to Angel, although she wasn’t sure whether it was for fear she was wrong, or for fear she was right.
Harmony had no such qualms, having always regarded everything Cordelia said as gospel.
“… and I don’t see why you’re so obsessed with her. Are you in love with her or something? Because you’re so not her type. She was totally having an affair with the librarian, like, all through high school. Everyone knew about it. Talk about skanky.”
Spike, reclining on a stone bench, was idly considering throttling her. More because the sound of her voice was irritating than because he knew what she was saying was nonsense, although that certainly didn’t help. After all, he knew far more than he wanted to about her bloody doomed romance with his nancy-boy sire, not to mention her current fling with the ex-soldier kid, he of the brains in his biceps. There was even that time, with the spell, when he and she… but he really didn’t want to think about that (not that it hadn’t been enjoyable, some treacherous part of his brain reminded him). And back then, Giles had… well, OK, he hadn’t been best pleased, but it wasn’t as if he’d come after him with a flaming baseball bat or anything. And sure, when he’d needed to push Giles’ buttons, it was the Buffy issue he’d gone after, but that was just because – well, Buffy did that to people, didn’t she? Made them feel like… hang on, why was he thinking about this anyway? Her little friends could worry about that. He had better things to do; most of them involving more creative ways to shut Harmony up than simple strangulation.
*
“So, what do you think the deal is with Buffy and Giles?”
“What?” Xander shouted, straining to hear anything over the heavy background music of the Bronze. Willow raised her voice.
“Buffy. Giles. What’s – the – deal?”
“Oh, that. Maybe they’ve just decided they’re secretly in love and want to settle down together and make babies.” Seeing the look of horror dawning on his friend’s face, he grinned. “Joking, Wills, you can relax. They’re just spending more time together, that’s all.”
“But… the whole of last year, she was…” Willow tailed off, unable to think of a word to suit that wouldn’t be, well, bitchy.
Xander nodded. “Yeah, I know. But then there was the thing with Spike, and the gestalt entity, and then that whole weirdness with the First Slayer. Is it really surprising they’d decide to get together more often? We did.”
“I guess.” She paused for a minute. “You know, thinking about it… would it really be that surprising if they did, you know, get together get together? I mean, I know you didn’t mean it, but they have been hanging out a lot lately, and she’s just broken up with Riley, and well, the way he looks at her sometimes, I mean you have to wonder -”
“No you do not! You absolutely, categorically do not.” It was now Xander’s turn to look horrified. “C’mon, Will, I mean, this is Giles we’re talking about. He’s like my father. As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t even have sex.” Willow smirked as he continued. “I mean, geez, it was bad enough thinking about you having a crush on him, and that was in the past tense…”
“Alright, alright, I get it. No more talk about Buffy and Giles.” She looked around. “Where is Buffy, anyway? She was supposed to be here by now.”
“Maybe she ran into something nasty on patrol?”
“I’ll give Giles a call, see if he knows anything.” She fished through her bag for her mobile, and dialled the number. “Hey, Giles? – It’s Willow. – Yeah. Listen, me and Xander are at the Bronze, and Buffy was supposed to join us, but she hasn’t showed, so we were wondering – Oh? - Oh, right. That’s fine, then. See you later. – Yeah, bye.” She turned back to Xander as she hung up. “She did run into something nasty, but she kicked its ass. She’s resting up at Giles’ place for a bit, but she’ll be here soon.” She waited for him to take another mouthful of his drink before adding, “Totally making babies,” and giggling as he sprayed soda out of his nose.
*
“Hello, who’s speaking please? – Oh, hello Willow, are you alright? – Ah, yes, she’s here, as a matter of fact. – Yes, she ran into some kind of minor demon. Don’t worry, she dispatched it with her customary, ah, dispatch, but she was quite tired, so she’s resting here for a little while before she joins you two. – Yes, goodbye Willow.”
Giles replaced the phone in its cradle, and made his way back to the bedroom. Buffy sat up in bed, running a hand through her mussed hair.
“Who was that?”
As she beckoned him, he joined her, shedding his robe again. “It was Willow, wanting to know where you were.”
“What did you tell her?” She was trying to keep her anxiety from showing in her voice, but didn’t quite succeed. He smiled.
“I told her you’d had a run-in with a minor demon, and were resting here for a little while before you joined them.”
“Thanks.” She smiled back at him. “I mean, I guess they’ll pick up on something soon enough, but I really don’t wanna have that conversation until I’ve figured out what to say.”
He nodded, trailing his hand down her bare back. “Understandable.”
With a sigh, she flopped back in bed, wrapping an arm around his waist.
“God, Giles… how are we ever going to tell them?"