FIC: Cumspiritik (BtVS, Buffy/Giles, PG)

[carmilla]

It’s perfect. It always has been, right from the beginning. He knows me, every part of me, every little foilable, every little reaction, everything I do, he knows. And he still loves me. Always.

We are graceful, powerful, strong, but our strength is tender. I look into his eyes and I see my life stretched out before me. Together. Always together.

Each little touch, each tiny movement, communicates more volumes than could ever be spoken. We move together. Our hearts beat to the same rhythm. Our breath and our sweat mingle as one. I am his. He is mine. We belong to each other. Forever. Always together forever.

We are one. I know it. Somewhere within me I’ve always known it. I’m just sorry it took me so long to acknowledge it. But he doesn’t mind. He’s always been patient with me, with my mistakes. He has that sweet half-smile on his lips as he looks at me, and I melt in the warmth of his gentle glances. I don’t know if he knows just what he does to me. I hope he does- I hope I do the same to him. He is my true partner in every sense of the word, and I love every part of him, (also in every sense of the word). I feel privileged, blessed even, to have him in my life. He tells me he feels the same. I don’t know how. Chosen One or not, I’m still just little old me underneath. That’s where he differs from my other lovers. With them, I was just a girl with a boyfriend. But he makes me feel like an angel from Heaven, because that’s how he sees me.

I love him. It floods my mind. I wake up happy because I’m going to see him in the day, and I go to bed happy because I’m thinking of him.

As we make the ancient and primal movements, I have time to reflect on this wonderful man who is now the focus of my world. We breathe together, and as we touch I am happier than I have ever been before.

And that’s just the training. The lovemaking is indescribable.



Notes from 2009

Despite the lethally high sap quotient, I'm quite fond of this one. I was actually trying to do something as a writer here, rather than just feeding my emotional kinks. I'm not sure how well I succeeded in what I was trying (which was to make the reader think it was about sex, and have the twist be that they were actually just training), but I suspect a lot of it felt much racier when I was thirteen :)